I’m at a point in my life where I’m hesitant/uncertain about [and second-guessing] everything. I don’t know if it’s just me, or if it’s another one of those things I can blame on “teenage hormones.” [By the way, that excuse works like a charm; it helps me save my butt all the time!]
Anyway, coming back to the point… A lot of the things I do these days are only after long periods of scrutinising, analysing, looking for alternatives, and, despite all of this, still not being a hundred percent confident/certain about it. Whether it’s in my nature or is faced by all teenagers, whether it’s temporary or will stick with me throughout my life, I cannot be certain. [whoops, I did it again!] But, after I spent some time thinking it over, I don’t think uncertainty is all that bad after all. Some of the best decisions I’ve made have been the most uncertain and impulsive ones.
I concluded that maybe life is not about certainty and familiarity and ‘the known’ after all; maybe it’s about actually taking chances without brooding too much over the negative consequences it could have. Maybe it’s not about the ease and comfort, but about the ambiguity and the surprises you have along the way. And maybe, just maybe, I should stop second-guessing myself since it only leaves me more uncertain at the end of it.
Man, sometimes I go to new heights to justify a bad habit I think I have, and even try hard to make it seem like a really good one.