An Open Letter to you, Reader

I can’t really limit the message that this post contains to a target audience and I think it would help everyone, from all walks of life. So this one’s for you, dear reader.

I’ve always liked to wish the best for people whom I’ve known and loved and the ones I don’t particularly love (rather reluctantly, I’ll admit). This stems partly from my need to see people happy and comfortable in life and partly from my wanting them to wish the same for me in return.

Today, when I wish the best for you, what I’m really wishing for is that you become the best for yourself. This is coming from a lesson I’ve learnt over time. I’ve always looked to other people to play certain roles that I expected of them in my life, and I only realised much later (in some cases way too late) that I was not only hampering my relationships with them in doing so, but I was also simultaneously hampering my own growth – I was preventing myself from being the person I needed to be for myself.

Now I’m not saying that all of it boils down to your being independent and self-motivated or anything. But often, there is this notion of how things should be: if you’re not confident enough about something, your friend ought to motivate you and get you there; if you can’t figure things out/make decisions on your own, your friend ought to step in and have your back. And while it isn’t wrong to have a second opinion (or even a first, for that matter) or have that friend you can fall back on, it becomes a problem when you become so completely dependent upon things working out in that orchestrated manner, when it is something that you know you are perfectly able of doing for yourself.

Specifically, be a self-motivator. It’s difficult. But relying on someone to motivate you is risky because it implies that you don’t believe in yourself enough. Sure, we all need that little push to go ahead, but you can’t always expect someone else to motivate you, no matter who that is. They can’t possibly know you as well as you know yourself, and this is why it is so, so important for you to be that motivator you’re looking for; to wake up every morning and look in the mirror and tell yourself you can seize the damn day, and actually go out there and do it, without requiring someone else to tell you so; to step out into the realm of the unfamiliar and the unknown, something that has always terrified you, just because you have yourself to fall back on. The best part? At the end of the day, you have only yourself to give credit to.

Friends are wonderful. I have friends and family that I rely on for support to get me through life on a daily basis. I think, however, the line has to be drawn between seeking support and being dependent on people. More than anything, don’t let this stop you from blossoming to your full potential and being the person you have to be. Don’t be the cause of your own destruction. I would end with a clichéd “you got this”, but I think it’d be more apt for you to read this aloud: “I got this, and no one else can tell me otherwise.”

-CF

 

 

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